destroy apathy

Above is a collection of art (excuse the shitty iPhone quality of some) I've done since 2013... Each has their own story and there are definitely more pieces, but I feel inadequate. Although I'm the closest I've ever been to self-acceptance, life up to 2012 was considerably stressful and certain events still affect my living now. I found physical forms of anxiety release to be most effective, but I almost lost my artistic roots. Not that surfing, rock climbing and running aren't spiritually artistic, but I'm nostalgic for the visual arts. 

Sometimes the arts can be stressful, but I've realized it's smilier stress that I get from running. My body feels strong, but my mind is in a constant argument to either stop or not (usually the result of boredom). It's the same continuous pain I get engaging in art, but once I finish I feel the release of endorphins. When it's really good, I can almost smell it off of me. I've described the scent like my Daisy Marc Jacobs perfume (which is why it's the only perfume I ever wear). It's almost like PTSD and I simply continue to fight with the pain to get that magnificent end result and I can scream POWER in my head. The pain never adds up to the real negative things in my life and the accomplishments only bring me closer to self-satisfaction. 

I want to destroy apathy and self-destruction by doing all the things I've ever wanted to learn to do and improve upon the things I already know how to do. I promise to art more (a friend once used "art" as a verb and I think everyone else should too). 

As for keeping up with this blog? I'm not sure I can stay committed... but once a year or more I may have something up! It's kind of a narcissistic practice and I don't like the idea of being cooped up inside, on my laptop for so long. I don't mean it in a bad way... it's just that we live in a narcissistic society now with social networks and other sites that make it so easy for us to become obsessive with our image and how others perceive us. I part take in it too! I just don't feel the need to make sure this place is up to date. However, it is a free space where only I can share things and edit things. Everything here is me.